Skin To Skin
by DobbyRocksSocks
Summary: Tony doesn't let people touch him. It might be cynical, but he doesn't think he could handle his soulmate seeing his worst day and then selling it to the media to make a quick dollar. Soulmate!AU


**Disclaimer - I own nothing you recognise.**

 **Written for Romance Awareness, Day 17** \- _The first time you touch your soulmate (shake hands, brush skin, whatever) you're forced to relive the best and/or worst day of their lives. (This can be past or future, your choice)._

 **Word Count** \- 1120

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 **Skin To Skin**

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Tony won't let people touch him.

It's a thing, and it's been that way since he turned eighteen, since the smallest brush of skin on skin could give someone enough news fodder to make themselves rich.

He knows that he'd being cynical. He knows that he should believe the best about his soulmate, but he can't because people are people and a lot of people are shit.

He just… He craves that connection. He really does. Someone who was made for him, who would accept him as he was without trying to change him or _fix him._ He doesn't need fixing, and if he did, he'd fix himself because he was the only one who had the right.

He wears gloves, light, almost invisible to the naked eye, so that when he has to shake hands with people, he has protection. He wears them so that when women and men with their own agenders skim their fingers against his, they will automatically believe themselves not his soulmate.

Even if they are, he doesn't need people like that in his life.

And then the Avengers happened, and suddenly, Tony is more comfortable. He has people around him that he wouldn't mind sharing that connection with. None of them are his soulmate, he knows, they've all checked one another at some point or other, but it's nice to be able to share himself with people.

To be able to cuddle with Nat on the sofa, or play fight with Clint, or nudge Steve with a shoulder that is bare in a tank top. To be able to science with Bruce without wearing his gloves, the slide of their skin as they hand things back and forth not a danger because Tony wouldn't mind if Bruce was his soulmate even though he's not.

And then Barnes arrives. Tony watched with bated breath as Steve and Barnes embrace, sure that the two of them were soulmates back in the day, that they were being reunited now, only it isn't that and Barnes punches Steve on the shoulder and they grin at each other, and it's the same grin Steve aims Tony's way.

They're just friends and Tony is shook but it's fine. He has Friday chase down the information on Barnes' soulmate, because Tony can't touch him at all until he finds out if it's safe, because Barnes isn't safe.

Steve will murder Tony if he defiles his best friend. Tony isn't good enough for Barnes, not now and not ever and that's fine, as long as Barnes has already met his soulmate. If he has, it's fine, because you only have one, and once you've met them, that's it.

Except Friday can't find any information, and Tony doesn't know what to do with that, so he wears his gloves around the Tower again, avoids physical contact with Barnes, even going so far as to try and not be in the same room as him because anxiety is a thing and Tony can't handle even the slightest chance.

He won't lose his team, and if Barnes is his soulmate, that's what'll happen, because Steve will _hate him._

Tony manages almost nine weeks. Then Dr Doom happens and blows it all to hell, because Tony is hit by a doombot and his suit is totalled. This wouldn't have happened if the Fantastic Four were around to do their goddamn jobs.

Tony falls, and he falls and he falls, caught at the last second by Thor.

"We need to get the suit off him," Steve says and Thor pulls the face plate away.

"Are you okay?" Barnes asks, and Tony can only smile and murmur a yes, because he's trapped in a dead suit and this _isn't comfortable dammit._

"Release catches," Tony manages to say, and Steve nods. Tony had showed him how to release them a long time ago, when the team was still relatively new. This was the first time Steve's actually had to use them.

"You'll be alright, Doll," Barnes murmurs softly, and he's helping Steve and then his finger is brushing Tony's cheek and Tony is falling again

He watches as Barnes falls from a train, only to be found on the floor of the crevice by Hydra agents and hauled off to god knows where. He tries not to watch because he doesn't want to see this, doesn't want to know what they did to him. He's read the file, he doesn't need to actually see.

When he wakes, he's been pulled from his suit and they're back in the tower. He's in Barnes' arms, which is odd but… wonderful, and the ex-Winter Soldier has tear streaks on his cheeks and he's trembling beneath Tony.

"What's wrong?" Tony asks because what else can he say.

Is Barnes really that upset about Tony being his soulmate? Is it really that much of a burden?

Barnes doesn't reply for a long time, just pulls Tony closer, and rests his face against Tony's hair.

"I'm so sorry," Barnes whispers, and Tony doesn't understand what he's talking about.

"Sorry?"

"Afghanistan. What they _did_ to you…"

Ah. Tony had been curious what his worst day would shape up to be. He's had quite a lot of bad days in his life, so really it could have been one of many.

"I survived," Tony replies after a minute, because what else can he say. "You're own life hasn't exactly been a picnic, Snowflake."

"What did you see?"

"The train. Hydra."

Bucky nods, because really he'd known that.

"Is this why you've been avoiding me? In case we were soulmates?"

Tony shrugs because he doesn't want to lie. "I guess."

"We don't have to… I understand why you wouldn't want…"

The 'me' on the end of that sentence is clear, and Tony shakes his head emphatically. "It's not that, not that at all. It's… you deserve much better. And I'm scared. I don't… the team… what if -"

Of course, Steve chooses that moment to enter the lounge where Tony and Bucky are sitting, and he's beaming because it's his life's dream to prove Tony wrong.

"Congratulations," he mutters, and there's so much sincerity in the word that Tony can't actually breathe around the relief he's feeling. The tension in his body that has been there since he woke leaves and he can feel James smile against his neck.

"If you hurt him, we're gonna have words," Steve says lightly, though there is steel in his words. Tony is about to refute the idea when he realises that Steve isn't even talking to him.

"Wouldn't dream of it," James replies quietly, and Tony wonders if this is real happiness.

If it is, he hopes he never loses it.


End file.
